A Hampton University student is reclaiming her life after schizophrenia began tearing it apart.
By Samieh Shalash

247-4537

May 6, 2008

HAMPTON

Amber Main stood in her family's living room, wearing only a towel and dripping water on the floor. She stared at her family as if they were strangers.

When she finally spoke, her words were scrambled. Nothing made sense.

It was January 2007, and for months the Hampton University freshman had been exhibiting classic signs of schizophrenia: She heard voices. She thought cameras were planted everywhere — even in her glasses — to spy on her.

Main's grades slipped from As to Fs as she stopped going to class. One day, she left her car door open and ran about a mile to a friend's home without realizing what she was doing. It was then that she knew "something is wrong with me."

That January night, Main's family took her to the hospital.

"They couldn't get me to calm down," she said. "I thought I was someone else. I thought they were going to throw me in the psych ward and never let me out."

Main was diagnosed with schizophrenia last summer. A quiet, determined woman with smooth brown skin and hazel eyes, she is now among the 1 percent of Americans with the mental illness. With the help of medicine and therapy, she's spent the past year rebuilding her life as a typical college student.

This month, she'll take her story public — very public. The 19-year-old, who moved to Hampton in 2002, will be featured on "True Life," an MTV documentary series that examines issues faced by young people. The episode, "I Have Schizophrenia," will follow Main's struggle to get her academic life in order after battling the mental illness.

She is matter-of-fact as she explains her decision to submit her story to MTV: "I'm not my mental illness, it's just something I have to deal with," she said. "I don't want to hide what I am, or what's a part of me."

Schizophrenia is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and typically hits women between the ages of 17 and 40, and men between the ages of 17 and 25, according to William T. Carpenter, professor of psychiatry and pharmacology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore.

Main began noticing symptoms when she was 18, but brushed them off as hormonal or stress-induced. She had major mood swings. It sometimes took her hours to get out two or three sentences.

"I'd sit here trying to get my thoughts together, but it wouldn't come to me what I wanted to say," she said, patting her knees quickly as she described her frustration. "Or if it did, I'd be afraid people were going to judge me."

A movie buff, Main could no longer watch movies because they caused her to go into psychosis, getting so involved in the plot that she thought it was part of her real life. She left the room or curled up in a corner whenever the TV was on.

In February 2007, Main was put on anti-psychotic medication. The hallucinations and paranoia dwindled as the drugs worked through her veins.

"I pretty much felt like my normal self after that," she said. "I was like 'Wow, I was acting so strange, I'm so sorry everyone, I don't know what was wrong.'"

She now takes anti-psychotic medicine daily to keep the symptoms at bay.

According to Carpenter, who also works with the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression, anti-psychotic medications tend to maintain their effectiveness over time. But they aren't guaranteed to prevent a relapse.

There are no cures for the mental illness, Carpenter said, but the earlier it's treated the better a person's chance of succeeding in life.

"If it's a college student," he said, "you may be able to help them get through college and their first job. Even if the disease stays the same, they're better off for life."

Even when controlled by medicine, schizophrenia can permanently diminish a person's social drive, ambition and assertiveness, Carpenter said. The "go-getter" instinct can be squelched, he said, and many patients end up not regaining a social niche.

Travis Hutchinson, 19, has been friends with Main for a few years. He said she's now "mostly the same, just quieter. We didn't talk about it very much, I try not to bring it up. But I didn't care, I couldn't tell the difference that much."

Main, who describes herself as naturally shy, said she's been doing her best to regain a social life. She took belly-dancing classes for fun in March. She goes out with friends, but has a hard time socializing in group settings.

"It's something I'm continually working on," she said. "I'm still that shy girl who isn't going to make the first move to talk to other people. It just so happens that schizophrenia blew that up for a while and made it an even bigger deal."

She plans to study psychology at HU, although she's currently a sociology major. Her grades are back up to As and Bs and she hopes to have the Fs removed from her transcript due to medical reasons.

In March, Main joined a local chapter of National Alliance on Mental Illness, publicly sharing her story for the first time. Talking about her situation is therapeutic, she said. She plans to continue working with NAMI's "In Our Own Voice" program to travel and share her story.

Main's mother, Rebecca Main, worries that her daughter's mental illness may affect her prospects of getting a job and having her own family.

"She's already been through much," she said. "You want to be protective and grab your children and hold them and not let the world in. But she's gotta learn how to be in the world, and she's done a wonderful job."



"True Life — I Have Schizophrenia"
Tentatively scheduled to premiere on MTV May 15 or 22. Check local listings.

For more information about schizophrenia, visit the National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression Web site at www.narsad.org, or the National Institute of Mental Health Web site at www.nimh.nih.gov. Under the heading Health and Outreach, click on "Mental Health Topics."

For information on education, advocacy and support of mental illness locally, call Robert Williams, president of Hampton- Newport News National Alliance on Mental Illness, at 503-0743.



Copyright © 2008, Newport News, Va., Daily Press